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A Status Update

A Status Update
Wow what a weird couple of weeks it's been. I guess I'm going to do some sort of status update kind of thing here since I haven't really been in the trenches of game development for awhile still. I'm falling behind on my blog goals!

I'm in the beginning phases of working on a secret thing that I unfortunately I can't really talk about or post about. This is a big reason for the radio silence on my blogosphere, but there are other reasons as well. It's a super cool project though and I am pretty dang excited to be working on it.

Unfortunately I'm still feeling pretty depressive lately. Sometimes I need to clarify that this doesn't mean "I am sad." I think pretty much for my entire life I've had struggles with depression and it's just a pure brain chemistry mess for me as far as I can tell. It just feels like I'm "blah" all the time and I don't want to do anything. I've been trying to work on it though. I've got exercise back into my routine in the form of a sweet rower. Right now two miles of rowing a day, and I've worked up to the point where I can do it continuously without stopping. I used to play a lot of Dance Dance Revolution to try to keep my brain in check, but unfortunately I live in an apartment now and I don't want to really stomp around on my downstairs neighbors.

I've been working a little bit on my Pathfinder Character Sheet. Fixing bugs and improving it slightly as my group plays every week. I've been putting a lot of energy into playing Pathfinder too. I really like it and I like my character a lot. I love getting into the role playing part of it and feeling the things that my character feels and having intense dramatic moments (and we have a lot of them at our table.) I'm super happy to have a group of players that really gets into their characters and the game isn't just about hitting things (although hitting things can be fun too.)

Drawing and doodling still occupies a lot of my time these days too. I don't know why but I still don't feel like programming. It feels like an infinitely high wall to climb over right now to get back into it. I know that this is just a trick of my mind though. I just need to dive back into it and I'll figure it out as I go. I just hate the feeling of not knowing what I'm doing, and taking a long break makes it worse, which is why I don't end up taking breaks, which leads to burn out. It's a vicious cycle that I don't know how other people seem to deal with it so easily! Or maybe it's not easy for them at all and they're just way way better at being disciplined than me. Dang it.

I'm doing well though. I am in fact going to Game Developers Conference this year. I wont have a pass, but I'll be in the area for the week and probably hanging out at different events, so if you see me you should totally say something!
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